If you’re reading this then it means you have an interest, however small, in what I’ve got to say – so firstly, thank you for being here!
I wanted to start this blog as a new way of exploring my thoughts, feelings, trials and tribulations.. To an outsider, I may look like a young woman who has the world at her feet and everything to live for, but it’s a constant struggle to believe that when you are a raving pessimist and a religious worrier with mental health issues and little-to-no self-esteem.
Through sharing my experiences, both trivial and significant, I’ll document the cloudy days aswell as the sunny ones, and hope to come out to clearer skies and a brighter view at the end of it. Please, appreciate my honesty as I leave no stone unturned and bare my soul to you.
It’s not all doom and gloom though; – I take pleasure in the same things every other sheila does: laughing babies, scented candles, strawberry laces, michael mcintyre, viral memes, boxset marathons, sexual innuendos, good pizza, practical jokes, fresh bedding, talking to my dog… you know the rest.
I have a sense of humour (although juvenile), complete with a loud, obnoxious laugh to go with it, and crows feet from smiling that are the biggest wrinkles you’ll ever see on a 25 year old woman…
It’s just…
Thus far, I feel like I’ve lived my life with an over-imaginative, self-destructive mind that holds me prisoner and prevents me from reaching, – or even realising, my full potential… It likes to dangle the idea of happiness on a string and then snatch it away from me when I go to grab it. It likes to repeatedly recite reasons past, present and future of why I’m a worthless loser that won’t amount to anything. It has the power and ability to paralyse my entire body, both physically and mentally, leaving me helpless in a place where time stands still.
I’m positive that I’m not the first person to feel like this, nor will I be the last, however it’s my biggest goal to break free from the “I can’t”s that have, up ’til now, dictated my mediocre life.
Being a nice person is all I know, and the rest I’m yet to figure out, but I’m hoping that by publishing my honest, naïve and, sometimes, senseless journey, I might just find more of the good stuff in myself, and the universe, on my way.
Come along for the ride, it would mean the world to me…
K xx